Holiday memories are a double edge sword in grief

Hope Hugs IMOCC | For those of us on griefs journey, the holidays are not always happy. One moment you are enjoying the moments of what is in front of you and the next moment you are in tears. Your heart hurts and longs for the moments of the past. It is a daily struggle but the holidays bring back memories of good times and then are followed with guilt. Guilt that we didn't take more time. Guilt that we let small things keep us apart during a time that is now gone. Followed by guilt of not being able to enjoy the moment you are in and it is a vicious double edge sword. We want to go back and we can't. Sit in your emotions. It is ok to miss your loved one. It is ok to hurt because you long to go back. Take the time you need to readjust to what has now become our new normal. Create new traditions that will honor your loved one. My son loved Christmas. He loved the surprise of opening gifts. Even though most of his childhood he found my hiding spot, opened and rewrapped his gifts so it really wasn't a surprise. He also loved giving. He would glow when he'd see you smile from the gift he had given. But what he loved most was being with family. He loved tradition. He loved the bells we hung every year. The ornaments from everyone's childhood that were hung on the tree and the burritos we had on Christmas morning made with love. On his last Christmas he messaged his children to pick a cookie to make, send him the ingredients and they all ran off to the store to purchase all the items on the spur of the moment. Returned home and they had a good ol fashion cookie contest. I may not have been able to be a part of it, but I CAN now make this an amazing tradition and a way for his children to remember a Christmas memory with their dad. Change is hard, holidays are hard. Get through them together in a way that honors your loved one. May your holidays be filled with love, light and memories old and new. Remember memories are the BEST gift you can give. www.hopehugsimocc.com