Mind, body and soul in balance -Hope Hugs Grief Retreat

One thing I learned in this grief journey is healing takes work. I realized early on three things.

One is that no one was going to do this healing for me. I had to reach out and take the steps to heal myself. I didn't want to stay stuck in my grief. I didn't want to not be available for the rest of my family. They meant more to me now more than ever. Even though I couldn't be there for them, I had to take the steps to begin my healing. I had to focus my mind on the truths. The truths that lay in the love and relationship I had with my son. Not the lies. Not the what if's. Not how it all ended. But in all the truths . This was the beginning of my mind healing. I had lived a lifetime of love and dedication with my son. 36 years of memories. Good and bad. Nothing I could do would change the bad. Nothing would change anything any more. I had to accept that and move forward. No matter what our love as mother and son would never be changed. I can freely cherish that.

My bodies healing would take a little longer. Even though my mind was focusing on positive surroundings and activities, my body would tell me to rest. Some days I went to work and straight home to sleep. This is where I learned my 2nd thing. I learned that I HAD to listen to what my body said. I HAD to be ok with not being ok. If I didn't do this I would not heal in a healthy way. I couldn't prolong my healing, I couldn't push forward like I use to. To ignore my body or minds need for healthy healing would only create a world in which I believe would only lead to the same feelings of despair that my son had to be experiencing. I had to do better. I had to show my family and those around me its ok to no be ok. I still need to rest. I still listen to my body. But I feed my mind and body what it needs. This is and will be an ongoing journey.

The third thing I learned is that my healing comes in helping others. In sharing with them my sons story. My sons story IS one of hope. Hope because we can get through healing. We can feed our souls by reaching out to others and letting them know they are not alone. For me this is in following the path that the Lord has planned for me. This is my journey. I didn't choose it but I will continue to walk it hand in hand with God. Walk with me. Some days I cry, some days I rest, some days are full of hope. One thing for sure is we are never alone and I'm ok today.

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